The word ‘codependency’ is frequently used figuratively to characterize partnerships in which one person is needy or dependent on another.
This phrase refers to far more than just neediness. Codependent relationships are significantly more severe. A codependent person will organize their entire existence around satisfying the other person or the facilitator. In its most basic form, a codependent relationship occurs when one spouse needs the other partner, who in turn wants to be needed. This continuous interaction is what specialists mean when talking about the “cycle” of codependency.
What is Codependency?
Codependency is a taught trait that is carried down through generations. It is a psychological and behavioral problem that impairs a person’s capacity to establish a healthy, mutually rewarding relationship. Codependency is sometimes called “relationship addiction” because persons with codependency frequently develop or sustain one-sided, emotionally harmful, and/or violent relationships.
The illness was discovered in the mid-1980s as a consequence of years of research into interpersonal dynamics in alcoholic households. Co-dependent conduct is acquired via observation and imitation of other relatives who exhibit this sort of behavior.
Signs of Codependency
Codependent relationships are therefore built on an inequality of authority that supports the demands of the taker while forcing the giver to continue giving, frequently at the expense of themselves. A codependent individual will generally:
● Experience the feeling of “stepping on eggshells” to avoid disagreement with the other person
● Have the need to check in with the other person and/or request permission to complete everyday duties
● Be the one who says sorry most of the time, even though they have done no wrong
● Feel sad for the other person, even they were wronged
● Attempt to rescue unstable, addicted, or under-functioning persons whose issues are beyond the abilities of one person to solve
● Feel the urge to do anything they can for the other person, even if it makes them unhappy
● Put someone on a pinnacle regardless of the fact that they do not deserve it
● Feelings of anxiousness about their connection as a result of their desire to constantly make the other person happy
● Use all of their time and efforts to provide their companion with whatever they desire.
● Feel guilty about thinking about themselves in the relationship and refuse to voice any personal wants or aspirations.
● Ignore their own morality or conscience in order to please the other person.
How to Overcome Codependency?
A few factors can aid in the formation of a healthy, balanced relationship:
● People in codependent relationships may need to take incremental moves toward separation. Outside of the partnership, they may need to discover a pastime or activity that they like.
● A codependent should make an effort to spend quality time with encouraging relatives or friends.
● The enabler must recognize that enabling their codependent spouse to make severe sacrifices is not benefiting them.
Individual or group treatment may be quite beneficial to persons in codependent relationships. An expert can assist them in recognizing and expressing sentiments that have been suppressed since they were young.
The informed engagement of co-dependents and their families is crucial in mitigating the negative impact of addiction on both individual well-being and interpersonal relationships. Public educational resources, readily available through libraries, substance abuse treatment centers, and mental health facilities, equip individuals with the knowledge and skills necessary to navigate these complex dynamics while preserving their boundaries and upholding their overall well-being and reputation.
A significant amount of change and growth is required for the co-dependent and their family. Any caregiving action that enables or permits abuse to persist in the family must be identified and addressed.
The co-dependent should recognize and accept their own emotions and wants. This may involve learning to say “no,” being caring yet tough, and becoming self-sufficient.
In their rehabilitation, people discover freedom, love, and tranquility.
Ranya Al-Huthaili is an American entrepreneur in St. Paul, Minnesota. Born in Saudi Arabia, Ranya shares insight about relationships and creating a positive support system.